I love ministering to women. I get so excited to help them. It's
wonderful when the LORD will bring you alongside someone to help them at
just the right time in their lives concerning something He has been
teaching or training you in for some time. Especially if they will
listen! Oh, then it's really rewarding.
Well, it's my turn to listen, and it's my turn to learn and practice.
It's a definite sharpening of my ax that I might manage my home more
easily, and in turn be more available to minister and help other women.
For the past two months I have been on a list called "The Flylady." I
know many of you have heard of it, because it was from some of you that I
learned about the Flylady. I decided to join this past May when I went on
my sabbatical. What is the Flylady list? Well, it is a dear woman who
teaches fly fishing, thus the name, "Flylady." But her list isn't about
flyfishing, rather it's about flying through your housekeeping. She often
refers to her members as SHE's, which is an acronym for Sidetracked Home
Executives. That would definitely describe me. I saw so much of myself in
her many descriptions of the Sidetracked Home Executives.
When I first joined her list I was overwhelmed with the many e-mails. I
probably had about 30 or more a day. I thought at first that I couldn't
handle all this mail, and I was going to unsubscribe. Then I decided to
just hang in there and keep listening. I am so glad I did. For her many
e-mails were like my grandmother coming alongside of me and prodding me
to remember important details of my homekeeping and household management.
Many which I had let drop in a day due to poor habits and my
procrastinating nature. In fact, many of the things she reminded me of
daily were the things that my grandmother did on a daily basis when I was
growing up:
GO SHINE YOUR SINK!
Do you know where your laundry is?
Put on your lace up shoes!
Take 5 minutes and go clear off a HOT SPOT!
What is for supper?
Do your morning routine!
Do your evening routine!
Spend an hour at your desk!
Clean your purse!
Clean car challenge!
Do you know what clothes you're wearing tomorrow?
Oh, and a few more that are repeated to you throughout the day or the
week. No wonder my grandmother's home was always so organized and
peaceful. She always knew what was for supper ahead of time. She was
always dressed from head to toe early on in the morning. Her sink shone,
shone, shone, even last year at the age of 86. She knew where her laundry
was at any given moment. And she definitely had a morning routine and a
night routine. She shopped on the same day every week. She always had her
clothes laid out for the next day by the chair next to her bed, even last
year. She was very orderly. I kept seeing her as I listened and learned
from the Flylady, so I knew that much of what she was teaching was tried
and true. It was my grandmother! My grandmother did things by routine and
order. So did I jump in with both hands and feet and "fly?"
Well, not at first.
My problem was clutter. Too much clutter. So besides dressing from head
to toe (especially in laced up shoes), shining my kitchen sink, and doing
my morning and night routines, the first and foremost thing the Flylady
teaches is getting rid of clutter. I have been doing that for weeks. I
know. I know. I've been doing that since you have been on my list! Well,
as I've told you all before I have lots of "homemaking debt," and you
can't reduce that overnight. It takes time. Lots of time. "Flybaby steps"
is how the Flylady puts it. This summer is my time to reduce it even
more, as well as practice better habits that I might have my ax sharpened
for the upcoming school year. God is so good!
The Flylady has this decluttering method called, "27 Fling". You need to
get rid of 27 things that are not necessary. She does this quite often,
so it helps you to declutter by baby steps or a little at a time. I seem
to always have a big, black trash bag in the middle of a 27 Fling day.
It's very important for people like me who tend to hang on to everything,
and who then have trouble finding anything. This is a good practice to
learn.
Another thing I have learned from the Flylady is the concept of a Control
Journal. I love the story of Joseph in the Bible. Whenever I am
struggling in my household management, I will read the story of Joseph.
The LORD helped him to manage a rich man's estate at the age of
seventeen, then he managed a prison, and then he managed an entire
country. The LORD was teaching him and working through him all along for
the good of many people. Joseph was willing to learn and manage no matter
what place he was put in. It encourages me that the LORD can do the same
through me for the management of my home, if I am willing. So often I
will ask the LORD to help me stop what I am doing wrong and to start
doing what is right. I ask Him to help me establish godly habits and
break my bad habits.
Well, in the wise management of anything there is a plan. A plan that
breaks up all the management which needs to be done into smaller,
manageable pieces. This is what the Control Journal does for me in my
home. I followed the Flylady's directions and typed it all up, then put
it in clear binders so that it would be kept nice and clean. In fact, I
had it done before I was even following it! I told my husband that if
anyone looked at this journal, they would think I was so organized.
~Smile~ But it helped to know what my management looked like before I
actually started to put it into practice. I used a lot of the Flylady's
directives for this usually typing a page a day. So what is in my Control
Journal? Well, I am going to sound really organized here, but please bear
in mind that what I have down on paper, I am working this summer to put
into action:
My morning and night routines.
My weekly plan.
My budget.
My kids' chore lists.
My shopping list.
My important telephone numbers & addresses, e-mail as well.
My account numbers and addresses.
My family and friends' birthdays.
My homeschool schedule.
My zones for cleaning.
My reminders, helpful hints, and anything I want to learn from the
Flylady.
Everything is kept in a large, black folder with a clasp on the front. I
keep it by my kitchen chair where I have quick and easy access to it. I
have tried many housekeeping plans in my twenty years of marriage, but
this is the first one where my family is really noticing a marked
difference in our home. The decluttering throughout every room in our
house really has my husband excited. ~Smile~ What I love is learning to
manage something that means so much to me and my family, which is our
home. Art came home yesterday and said, "You know what, Laine? The house
is really looking good." Ahhh, golden words that will keep me "flying"
for some time.
So am I going to give you the Flylady's address? I'll bet you thought I
might forget. Here it is: FlyLadyMentors-subscribe@yahoogroups.com She
also has a website you might want to check out at http://www.FlyLady.net
Now don't get upset with me if you get a lot of mail! And don't get upset
with me if you don't agree with everything she shares. I glean the wheat
and feed on that. Yesterday it was wonderful to welcome my neighbor in as
she dropped over unexpectedly. My home was in order as I had been
following the directives of the Flylady. It felt so good to say, "Come
in! Come In!" And to actually lead her all the way in without any
hesitancy. I find that I am much more excited about hospitality when my
home is as ready as my heart. If my grandmother could do it with less
conveniences than I have, less money, and a large family, then I can,
too. No more excuses from me. It's time to learn and change.
It feels so good to work through my Morning Routine and check things off
as I do them. The more I do them the more they become second nature. If I
don't feel like doing something, I will remind myself that the most time
it will take is fifteen minutes. I try to do most everything in the
morning and leave very little for my Evening Routine. I have taught
myself to be a morning person, so I am often quite tired in the evening.
Therefore I try to get my Evening Routine completed before dinner. After
dinner I like to relax with my husband. As soon as I complete my morning
routine, I look at my Weekly Plan and see what I have scheduled for that
particular day. Today is Monday, so I have on my list: water indoor
plants.
I really enjoy the Weekly Home Blessing Hour. It is an hour each week
when you go through your home vacuuming, dusting, mopping, and windexing
for one hour. In my house it breaks down to about 10 minutes per room.
Now this is a good workout, and as I work I think of how I am blessing
each room by coming into it and sprucing it up a bit for the week. Each
room gets my special touch.
Now another day I have scheduled on my Weekly Plan: Food shopping and
Post Office. This helps me to really think about my trips into town and
to save money on gas since I try to schedule my outings more wisely these
days. Wednesday is Anti-Procrastination Day, as heralded by the Flylady.
On this day you work 15 minutes on a project that you've been putting
off. I love her 15 minute time increments to break bigger tasks down into
manageable smaller tasks. You will be so surprised what you can
accomplish in 15 minutes which helps to complete something that you've
been putting off. Friday afternoon is my fun time to do whatever I would
like, sort of a reward for all the hard work of the week. It's a time to
get together with friends or do something enjoyable. Basically the Weekly
Plan is all the things you need to see done in your home, and the
breaking up of them to be done on certain days of the week.
Lastly, I just want to touch on the Zones. I am learning to really enjoy
Zone work! Zones are the breaking up of your home into four weeks. For
example, the first week of the month in my home is Zone 1: my kitchen and
my bathroom. This means that for fifteen minutes I work in my bathroom,
then I work fifteen minutes in my kitchen for that day. This is written
on my Morning Routine: do Zone work. Zone 2, which is the second week of
the month, is my sons' room and porch area. Zone 3, which is the third
week in the month, is my other son's room and my room. And Zone 4, yes,
the fourth week in the month, is my daughter's room and the living room.
This week is Zone 1, as I said before, so I am working for 15 minutes
each in my bathroom and kitchen. Yesterday I cleaned under the sink of my
bathroom for 15 minutes, and I cleaned out my small refrigerator in my
kitchen for 15 minutes. Last week I was in Zone 4, which is one of my
children's rooms, so I cleared out a couple of bookshelves that needed
tidying and "weeding". It really is amazing what you can get done in 15
minute time blocks, and how things get easier and easier as you manage
your home with a more comprehensive system. By doing the Zones each day,
you will see areas touched that might have needed touching for some time.
Slowly but surely, as I keep persevering, I see my "ax getting sharper"
and my job getting more manageable. "Baby steps, baby steps!" As the
Flylady is fond of saying.
I think the summer is a wonderful time to practice something new. So
often I am working early in the morning to "beat the heat" in my house. I
fly through here getting things done before it's too hot to work. It is a
good practice for the whole year and keeps me in shape. Now I am flying
with a much better plan. I wanted to tell you about it in case you'd like
to try it also this summer. It might be a way of "sharpening your ax" so
that your work might become a bit more easier. The Flylady helps working
women, women with illnesses, homemakers, single mothers, along with
grandmothers and anyone else who cares to learn. I'm ready and willing!
God is so good. But you must remember one thing, the Flylady does not
allow whining on her list. It's kind of like my grandmother coming
alongside of you with her directives. She didn't allow whining either.
~Smile~
Have a great summer!
Love,
Laine
~*~
Dear Sisters,
Can I add a P.S. to my letter yesterday? The e-mails are coming in! As I
mentioned in my letter yesterday concerning the Flylady, "glean the
wheat". Yes, there is some chaff. I just delete it. Some of you have
written to me about some of the chaff. But no one wrote to me concerning
something that she does share quite frequently which I thought I should
explain a bit more fully. The Flylady often speaks about loving yourself.
This is why I share with you so often how important it is to be in the
Word of God on a daily basis. Many times in a day you will hear
"half-truths". If we've been sitting with The Truth on a daily basis, we
will begin to recognize a "half-truth" or a completely "non-truth" when
we hear it. Here is The Truth, and the whole Truth:
"And Jesus answered him, 'The first of all the commandments is 'Hear, O
Israel; The LORD our God is one LORD. And thou shalt love the LORD thy
God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and
with all thy strength: this is the first command." Mark 12:30
There is not one word in the first of all the commandments about loving
yourself. You see, if we are pouring out our love for God first and
foremost by His precious Holy Spirit living in us, then this next verse
makes so much sense and will follow:
"And the second is like it, namely this, 'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as
thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31
The emphasis is not on me loving myself. That is a given. Which is why
Jesus said:
"And whosoever of you will be the chiefest shall be servant of all. For
even the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and
to give his life a ransom for many." Mark 10:44-45
The emphasis is on loving others after our greatest love: God.
So when I read things in the Flylady's writings or others which don't add
up to God's Word, I just delete it. I use what is worthy. She has given
me some valuable tools to help my home run more smoothly. For this, I am
very grateful. Do I pray for her and her assistant, Kelly? You bet. I
have such a love for both of them having been on their list since May.
And I am so thankful for all the Flylady's assistance freely given to me.
Can I be open with you? One of the reasons I have really been enjoying my
sabbatical is no letters of criticism! It's been so, so nice. I knew when
I sent my letter out yesterday that I would be opening up a door which I
might wished I had kept shut. But I felt the LORD's directive because I
am just so thankful for all that's He's been teaching me in the
management of my home. And I so wanted to help you while we have these
summer months to practice in. My husband kept asking me when I was going
to send the letter out. But I held back a little because of this very
reason: criticism.
Again, I want to speak to you about the incredible manager, Joseph. The
LORD loved Joseph. Yet He allowed him to go through some very difficult
times. Why? Because Joseph was going to learn so much through those hard
times, which in turn was going to help so many people. Joseph was going
to have eyes to see years and years down the road just what the LORD was
accomplishing through him. Did it take a dying to himself that others
might live? Yes. Did it take humility? Yes. Did it take a heart that was
willing to learn, even through a new language and loneliness for one's
family? Yes. But he was willing to cling to God, and the LORD could work
through him. I see so many similarities with the Keeper of the Home as
well.
Why then is it so hard, on the whole, to help Christian women? Why are we
so critical? Even when something is freely given to us to help us? If you
only knew how difficult it is for me to open myself up like I have these
past four years and be transparent with you, you would know what a
miracle God is doing in my life. I love the LORD so much. I hunger to get
alone with Him each morning. My heart beats to soak up His Word. I pray
constantly that I might kiss His Feet with my life, and that I might be
the sweetest aroma rising up to His Throne of Grace. I love to be in His
Presence. He is my Beloved Bridegroom, and my heart pines after Him. I
can't get enough of Him.
For years I could only focus on the greatest commandment which was to
love the LORD my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. This
was and is my total aim. I can remember when I finally asked Him to help
me love others as myself. I wanted to pour out to someone else what He
had been so graciously doing in my life. So I began to mentor other
women. It was as rewarding as it was painful. Why?
Well, it is kind of like mothering. This also is as rewarding as it is
painful. Then there are times when you're so excited because someone has
learned what you've been trying so hard to share. Those small moments
make any pain seem worthwhile. Take this letter that I received
yesterday, for example:
~~Something you wrote struck me---that you rise early because "no one
else
wants me at that time." It just struck my heart. So, I started getting
up early. Not to "study" (though I love to study), but just to pray and
sit at His feet and ask Him to show me His face. I started by reading
one chapter in the gospels each day, again, not outlining them or
attacking them with my mind, but just reading them, asking Him to show
me what He had for me. I also read a Psalm each day. And I have been
reading "My Utmost for His Highest", each day's meditation. Often I read
one of the letters from your website and look up the Scriptures you
cite.
It's been about five months now and this time has become so precious to
me I know I will never give it up. You were right---no one else wants
me at that time, not my husband or children or phone calls from the
outside world.
I thought that because I was spending time in study, I was okay.
Reading your letters showed me that I needed to spend time WITH Him.
Thank you. You have changed my life.~~
This is one of those precious letters that keeps me mentoring women. For
not all letters are like this one. But how I rejoiced in my LORD when
this letter came in. He is so very good!
So what am I trying to say here? A critical spirit will stop you short
every time. It won't allow you to learn and grow. Rather, pray to learn
what He has for you. Pray to have a soft heart to receive it. Pray to
have His Strength to practice it. Pray to have gracious lips if you don't
agree. For "a gracious woman retains honor." You will be so surprised at
how much help will be poured out to you when your heart is ready to
receive it.
There is nothing like the love of Christ! There is nothing like the love
of Christ poured out through us. My god is not my homekeeping. My God is
Jesus Christ my LORD. I love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and
strength. His love has motivated me more than any other. He has given me
a love for my family and my job as a homemaker that I never dreamed
possible. I love teaching and training my children. I love playing with
my children. But there is a godly balance. I find it when I walk
willingly with the Master of all My Moments. Today it is cleaning out
another book shelf, weeding 15 minutes in the garden, and balancing my
check book after completing my morning routine. The kids want to go to
the library and have tea in the park in the afternoon. I will enjoy doing
this. But I'll also enjoy having dinner ready, the table set, a shining
sink, and a ready home and heart for my husband when he walks through
that door after work. The LORD is doing all this for me and more. It's
nothing short of a miracle. And I can't thank Him enough. I've read
Proverbs 31 for years and years. Every day even. With the help of my
Master, I am making each verse my own. It's my job description. I don't
believe He put it there to agitate me. I know Him too well now. I believe
He put it there because "all things are possible through Christ Jesus."
And "I can do all things through Him Who strengthens me." He gives me
such peace and joy in it all.
Oh, that we might know the joy of worshiping Him in all the minute
details of life! For the Father desires those who worship Him to worship
Him in spirit and in truth. It is His Mind captivating our thoughts and
moving our hands.
"Every wise woman builds her house."
"A prudent wife is from the LORD."
"Give her the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the
gates."
It's one of His ministering women.
It's a home touched by His grace.
It's a tiny touch of Heaven if you happen to live there.
Love,
Laine
~*~
Dear Sisters,
Ooops. I just read the Flylady's letter that she wrote on "sharpening
your ax" some time ago and shared by her again today. I think I
unintentionally swiped her idea and title! I am so sorry. I've already
written and apologized to her. I've read so much from her, that I truly
did it unintentionally. What a shock to realize it today! I want to give
her the proper credit, as I wanted to in my whole letter. Can you forgive
me? I'm over forty now and getting worse by the minute!
Love,
Laine