Before I began working on my home these past few months, I
was thinking about God's Word. One of the verses that I was thinking
about was Ephesians 5:33b
"And let the wife see to it that she respect her husband."
I thought about that verse. Oh, that's easy, I thought, I respect
my husband. Yes, I was sure I had that verse covered. Then this
nagging little thought came into my mind. "Yes, Laine, but
does the keeping of your home bring respect to him?"
Ouch. That little thought hurt. I thought about my husband.
My husband loves to have people over for dinner. He loves to have
his family over for the weekend. But how many times has the disorganization
of my home caused me to say to him, "Oh, not this weekend,
Art." Or "maybe next Friday night, Art." Why? Because
of the work it would take for me to get ready to have weekend
guests or a family over for dinner. You see, my home was always
working against me. My home was a hindrance, rather than a help,
in hospitality.
So often I would ask the LORD, "What am I doing wrong?"
I would notice other women who could keep their homes in order.
Why was I always struggling so? I would notice other women whose
homes were always open and inviting. Why couldn't I practice this
so easily as well?
Then I thought, "Well, everyone is comfortable in our
home. It doesn't really need to be in order." That was sure
a lie. For who was the most uncomfortable when someone unexpected
dropped by? You guessed it. Me.
Again that nagging little thought, coupled with The Word, came
into my mind, "Does the keeping of your home bring respect
to your husband?"
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I did not like the way my thoughts were going.
But praying and pondering the Word of God brought me to realize
that I had some serious work to do. I was going to get this home
ready for hospitality! I was going to bring my husband respect.
No more excuses. I tackled my home with new found resolution.
The first thing I did was to learn how to keep one room ready
and welcoming for any drop in guests. This was the corner I started
in. (That was when I wrote to you the letter entitled, "The Parlor Mentality.") I worked on
this for a few weeks. What I mean by that is, I developed the
practice of cleaning this room first and training my children
to keep it clean during the day; this way we might have a nice
room to take guests to, should they come by unexpectedly. It takes
about 3 weeks to develop a habit, so we now have this habit down.
The next thing I worked on was cleaning my bathroom every day.
I figured that my drop in guests might need to use the bathroom,
so it would be best to have it nice and clean. So every day after
I "ready the parlor," I go and clean the bathroom. (A letter that I wrote in the past entitled, "How To Clean
a Very Messy Bathroom" explains how I do this rather quickly.)
Since we only have one bathroom and six people, it gets messy
every morning after all the nighttime showers and morning
preparations for the day. So it is best that I daily go through
it quickly and thoroughly. Again, I now have this habit down.
Many of my friends have children. My children also have many
friends over in the course of a week. I knew that these younger
guests would definitely wander to my children's rooms down the
hall. I thought it best that these rooms be kept neat in case
one of their friends might spend the day with them, or overnight.
(I wrote about the pleasure of "Practicing
Hospitality with Children" some time ago as well.) So
I began to work on their rooms. I started with my daughter's room.
I found that this was the easiest room as she is pretty neat.
It wasn't too hard to get her room in order and keep it that way
every day. I kept thinking how nice it was to have an orderly
room should I have an overnight guest, like our Ayuko, who comes
once or twice a year from college to visit us.
The hard part came when I went into my sons' room. Ugh. Double
ugh. This room was so bad. The first thing I realized was these
boys cannot have a lot of things in their room. They really do
better in keeping their room neat with only a few items at a time
in their room. So I went in and took out. And took out. And took
out. Then my husband painted their walls halfway up a dark green
to hide a multitude of spots, stains, and smears. I put up a border
between the white and green on the walls, and bought them two
handsome comforters for their beds which tied in with the colors
in the border. The room was now in order. The challenge has been
to keep it that way. But I work on it, because I think, "Now
this room is ready should we have overnight guests, or should
the boys have a friend spend the night." Again, it is getting
into the practice of keeping something neat and tidy, which I am trying to work on in my home.
This Easter my brother-in-law and his family will be coming
to spend the weekend with us. It is the first time in a long time
that I am ready to have guests over without a "major coronary
house attack." What is that you ask? That is when I go into
my serious alarm cleaning with many major bypasses (and lots of
family anxiety) to get my home ready for welcoming someone in
with open arms.
Now I am not finished in my new "Bringing Him Respect"
household management plan. ~Smile~ But it is getting better and
better every week. I keep thinking of the verse in Proverbs 31
where her husband sits at the gate in the middle of all her work.
"Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among
the elders of the land." Proverbs 31:23
Her work brings him respect in the gates among the people.
The verse which always seemed so very out of place to me, now
makes perfect sense. It is a beautiful picture of the laying down
of one's life that the other might shine. She is shown working
in the home throughout the passage; he is shown shining in the
gates. She brings him respect.
That is how the Word of God works. It opens one's mind to understand
that there is more than housework going on here. There is respect
going on here. Not only that. There is also glory to God going
on here. Oh, the joy, the incredible joy of bringing "Him"
and him respect in our homes. And then seeing that respect result
in the "washing of another's feet," or otherwise more
well known as, "practicing hospitality." May He do it
through us. May He do it through us!
Love,
Laine